unrequited

  there is a guy i've known for a while~ maybe.. a year and nine months? smth like that. and from the first day i actually sat down and spoke with him, i realised that he liked me. that was in january~ last year~

  last year~ maybe, half way through? he asked me out. i declined and said i didn't like him~ it hurt to say that to him. ._.~

  recently there was a scout camp i went on~ and before that on facebook, he said he wanted to talk to me. so on the camp he was talking to me and bleh and afohiuafk he asked where it left him and i said that i thought it left him with an unrequited crush and i know it sounds mean but it didn't sound like that at all in person >_<

at least i hope so~~

  and then today~ he sent me a message on facebook~ he said he knows i don't like him and stuff but he just wanted to get his feelings across

and when i read the rest of the message i very nearly cried

i was venting about it to a friend but what i rly want is a hug ._.~

  i just feel so horrible~

  i wanna diiiieee~ 

  wonder what it's like to drown.

be-su.

  terve. today i will write about~ my bass guitar. gitaa. beesu gitaa~

silly :3

  um~ i've been playing bass since january, or february~ i decided it was smth i wanted in december. i started playing a bass song for a change, indica's ikuinen virta, and when i went to see some family for christmas, i borrowed a cousin's bass and played it. and so began my adventures as a bassist.

  i had lessons for a while~ about five months, i guess. but i didn't like it~ it sounds stupid but i figure i can teach myself to play it. i mean, if i can pretty much teach myself another language, then surely i can learn an instrument~?

  my bass is some generic brand, and is only coloured black, but i love him. him? his name is kuro, i think. i can't quite remember.

  i can play some other instrument too. i've been singing for ten years, with lessons for about five or six of those. i play a bit of guitar too, though i only know a few chords now. i had lessons but my teacher was kinda ng, so i quit. i was taught recorder when i was in primary school, and one of my two singing teachers tried to teach me piano, but i wasn't too enthusiastic about that. and i guess there's a bit of piano and guitar from high school too~ and some glockenspiel~

  hmh, i think that's it. is it? it must be. in that case, moi moi.